Vite Batman! A la discotheque!

The French hate peanut butter and they hate me. I didn't realize it right away. They're pretty open about their disgust for peanut butter and only a bit more subtle towards me. I'm reading Bill Bryson's Neither Here Nor There and he is convinced that the French wanted him dead and when I read that I thought, ah oui, that's what that is. The veil has been lifted. Being nice and smiling a lot and trying to speak French does not make a difference to them. So oh well, I will eat their pastries and get the fuck out. Excusez-moi.

Really, it's just one French person. This woman at a party I went to. She was sitting next to me, I spilled a little beer on my own leg, a SPECK got on her top and she made a big French stink about it. She doused her shirt in water which just looked ridiculous considering how she looked absolutely fine before, except that she's about 40 and has a stupid eyebrow ring. I wanted to laugh at her in French. Instead I ate several strangely spiced hot dogs and went home. Serves her right.

I miss Obama. Has he changed everything yet? I am not keeping up.

I have couchsurfed with all three of the lesbians who live in Aix en Provence. How many people can say that? I got to ride on Karine's motorbike yesterday, that's not a euphemism, and it was scary but fun in an I might be flung forward into the street and die kind of way. I couldn't get the key to Flore and Babou's door to work. They live on the top floor so it's really hot, the velcro on my dress kept coming apart, rendering me topless, struggling with the door in between swigs of Coke. Physical comedy, how French of me. Finally I knocked on the neighbor's door. I said "Je reste avec Flore et Babou, je suis stupide, je ne peux pas ouvrir la....door". And of course she opened it in three seconds. I told her I was stupid. I came in, took a cold shower and ate three pieces of baguette avec Nutella (baguette with Nutella).

Bill Bryson only speaks English and he thinks that travelling is more exciting that way because you're constantly wondering what the fuck is going on and you can imagine all kinds of interesting things. I have to agree because otherwise what I'm doing is pretty bleak. So...yay! this is fun!!!